Thoughts....

Ben is studying for his finals right now, so I decided to share some thoughts I have been having as of lately. Life is just amazing...It can be so hard but yet so rewarding.

I have a favor to ask of all of you....Ben is wanting to go to school during the summer, but he hasn't been admitted to the summer program, but we are hoping that there will be someone who decides to drop out. So I would like all of you to pray for Ben to be able to go to school this summer because he really really wants to finish sooner (December 2010 instead of May 2011) and he is very motivated to finish. We both want me to be able to stay home with this little one and for me, I feel so strongly that I need to stay at home and be a mom. I have this big fear that if I don't stay home with my little girl that I won't be able to communicate with her since the babysitters will probably talk with her verbally. It is very important to me to have my baby to communicate with me and I just feel so strongly that the best way to accomplish that is to have me stay home. I already struggle with communicating with others and I don't want that struggle between me and my child. So, sorry....I'm selfish and want Ben to be done with school. All the prayers you can give will be wonderful. But whatever Heavenly Father's will is...I will accept, I know he will provide a way for us.

We are thinking about moving out of this apartment and moving into a better maintained apartment. As horrible as this is, we applied for government assisted housing and hopefully we'll get approved. I feel stupid, but the conditions in this apartment worries me... the carpet is falling apart and I don't know how clean it is. I feel so germ-phobic but I worry about Baby Curtis crawling around grabbing gobs of carpet and eating it. The apartment is heated by baseboard heaters and I worry about her getting her hands stuck in those...I know...sorry if any of you roll your eyes at me and think...oh bother...she's going too far, but I do have those concerns and have to follow my instincts.

Anyway....I need to go to bed right now since I work at 8 tomorrow morning. I hope all is going well with each and every one of you. I wish I could communicate better with most of you. Have a wonderful day!