I'm so behind on the times. I have been procrastinating on blogging lately and of course have a little demanding baby on my hands. Right now we are in the process of teaching Ilexis how to sleep in her crib by crying it out. It has been difficult, but today, I decided to take my hearing aids out and not listen to her. Amazing what a big difference it makes, I didn't have to listen to the poor little baby crying her heart out and feel so guilty and horrible. Poor thing doesn't understand that it's for her good.
Coming up soon...I have a ton of pictures and videos from Ilexis' birth to now. I still have to record my birth story. I hope I can remember the details I wanted to remember.
I've had to deal with quite a bit of personal things over the past few months so it's taken it's toll on me and I had no desire to blog. However, today I am determined to change that attitude and keep better record and share my life and faith with others. I feel that this blog is the best way I can connect with family and friends. Please forgive me for the person I've been over the past few months...I feel I haven't been myself since Ilexis was born, but slowly I'm starting to feel myself as I adapt to this change.
Ilexis is growing so fast, but she brings such love and joy into our lives. Every time it's Ben's turn to pray, he always thanks Heavenly Father for giving us such a precious gift. I can't believe how much love I truly feel when I hold her in my arms and have her smile at me and touch my face. She has started giving me slobbery kisses and I love it! She doesn't do it for anyone else but me so I feel quite special! She is such a smart girl and I love being able to be at home with her!
I went back to work about 3 months after I had Ilexis (December 1st). Hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. I didn't even say good bye to Ilexis when I dropped her off at the baby-sitter's. I was so afraid I would cry and never stop. Ilexis has been having a hard time adapting to the change and every night would cling to me and nurse for 2 hours at a time. I would try to unlatch her only to have her sob and sob. I always feel so horrible. She also refuses to take a bottle or a pacifier. We've tried countless times to teach her how to take a bottle, but as the stubborn little girl she is, she gets so mad. Ben started to bring her in work every two to three hours so I could feed her since we didn't want her to starve. In the end, Ben and I decided it would be easier for me to stay home with Ilexis since Ben would be returning to school soon and we felt that it would be too hard to have the baby-sitters come to me every two to three hours. So, I am now staying at home with Ilexis. We know things will work out and even though money will be very tight, I feel much better staying home with Ilexis.
Another reason why we decided to have me stay home was because the hours got cut at work and they didn't have enough hours for me as well. Heavenly Father will help us if we do what's right.
I better go now since Ilexis is awake now. More updates to come!
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7 comments:
When Landon was born, we were in a very similar position to you guys. Both Nick and I were still in school and had been working minimum wage jobs. I had always wanted to be home with my children because I saw my mom be a working mother and it just seemed so hard to balance it all. When we found out we were pregnant I was terrified. I didn't know how we would afford to get him here let alone take care of him afterward.
Everyone kept telling me the Lord would provide, but up until the day Landon was born I was sure I needed to be home with him and also absolutely sure there was no way we could financially do so. One minimum wage job (even full time) would not pay even the most standard bills not to mention hospital bills and school tuition.
A couple weeks after Landon was born, Nick got promoted. We found out we qualified for grants to cover schooling. So I stayed home and tried to cut back everything we could. Looking back, I still don't know exactly how we paid for everything, but we did.
I know in doing what is right the Lord will take care of you, even if it takes a little while for it to really happen. I wish I could tell you this in person, but I'm going to have to learn a lot more signs to explain everything I want to sometimes say :-)
Loves,
Stevie
Hi Chennelle, your actions are actions of faith! God really will bless you for that leap! I love you!
I know that you really wanted to stay and now i am glad you have the support you need for that decision. your family will truly be blessed for it. :) plus, now it'll be easier to visit you. :)
I am so happy you get to stay home now! I promise you, from experience, that you will be blessed for this choice. Things will work out for you and Ben. You are a wonderful Mom. I completely understand what you mean by not being yourself after having a baby. I have felt the same way. You are an amazing person!
You're so amazing Chennelle!! Things will definitely work out..we're going through the same thing and I have no idea how we make it, but we do. Stay strong with teaching Ilexis how to sleep..it's so hard, but so worth it. You'll know when to comfort her and when to let her cry. Good luck with everything and I can't wait to see more updates!!
So glad you have found a way to stay at home with little Ilexis. Things will work out for you.
It's a hard adjustment learning how to be a mom. I remember how hard it was for me after each baby.
You sound like an amazing mother! Times are hard sometimes, but in the end the eternal prospective is so worth it! It is hard to have a stubborn baby, I would know. My first baby was very hard and I really struggled with her. My little guy now is such an angel and we love having him every minute. Things will get easier. Keep your head up.
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