Well...well...I came across this quote and I thought it was so true! I've been doing a lot of contemplating and pondering lately about how my life has been and if I truly am showing people Christ like love. I have been so drawn up in myself lately that I realized that I needed to stop focusing on my problems and serve others. I have been struggling a lot with so many things and I realized that I was digging myself a pity hole. One day....I could not take it anymore and I just cried and cried and finally I opened this book entitled, "When You Can't Do it Alone, Take the Savior's Hand." by Brent L. Top. I was inspired by his words:
"When we are down in the dumps it is easy to drown our sorrows with cupcakes and ice cream (or whatever your favorite comfort food may be), but it takes real effort to go to the gym and have a strenuous workout. Why is that? I think the answer is that the natural man always seeks the path of least resistance - both physically and spiritually. That is why it takes real effort to focus on Christ. While it may be easy (and almost always a waste of time and energy) to dwell on all of our problems, it takes conscious effort to think about the many ways God has blessed us....I know what I'm talking about. I've been there. I've spent plenty of wallowing time in life's "pity potholes." It is easy to do. Unfortunately, those pity potholes are nothing more than emotional quicksand. If you don't stop flailing away, you'll surely sink and drown. Our only hope in that condition - in all the conditions and circumstances of our lives - is to reach out and grab on to the rescuing arm of "him who is mighty to save" (2 Nephi 31:19). "
I suddenly felt guilty....I've been sitting here pouting because life is not going my way or is not as wonderful as I hoped it would be...however later in the chapter Brother Top talks about how important gratitude is and how gratitude saves us from drowning. He says "..ingratitude is like those mirrors found in amusement parks and carnivals that distort reality. Failure to see the hand of God in our lives in true perspective actually leaves us with a warped view of our real circumstances and true selves." I realized how ungrateful I was...I was so wrapped up in my frustrations and was being so hard on myself. I decided today that I am going to count my blessings and here I go...wish me luck!
1. I have two wonderful parents who love me and helped me know that I could do whatever I wanted to do. The fact that I could not hear did not mean anything to them. I really appreciated that more when I left home for college.
2. I have a wonderful husband who loves me in spite of my imperfections.
3. I have the knowledge that I have a Father in Heaven who loves me so much and He is aware of my needs.
4. I can pray anytime and anywhere and know that He hears my prayers.
5. I have an apartment that gives me warmth and provides a place for rest.
6. I have eyes so I can see all the beautiful things God created even if I can't hear....I am so blessed to be able to see all the beautiful flowers, all the beautiful mountains, all the beautiful waterfalls, all the beautiful trees, all the beautiful lakes, all the beautiful temples, all the beautiful colors, all the beautiful rainbows, all the beautiful snow, all the beautiful creations my Father in Heaven has allowed me to see on this wondrous earth!
7. I have the knowledge that I can be with my dear family forever!
8. Even if I can't hear so great, I'm glad I have the hearing I do have so I can listen to the beautiful music! I love music so much and I look forward to the day when I can hear everything and not have to concentrate or feel so sad because I can't hear the music as well as I would love.
9. I have a job that pays the bills and gives me good insurance.
10. I have the opportunity to be wake up and know that I'm alive every single day!
11. Hot, running water that I can shower everyday in.
12. The Book of Mormon
13. I am blessed to have a great education and to be able to read. Reading gives us knowledge that those who are illiterate don't have. Imagine not being able to read? I would not even be sitting here.
14. I live in a time where there is to much to learn and to do than ever before.
15. Hearing aids! They are great! :)
16. Glasses and contacts....I would be lost without them!
17. Art that is all around us. Beautiful pictures and paintings about Christ are my absolute favorite.
18. I have legs that work.
19. I can laugh and be happy.
20. Opposition...this may be a weird thing but if there was no opposition...how would we know if we were happy if we were never sad? So for all the sad times...I'm grateful for because I have the ability to be happy because I experienced sadness.
21. I have hands that I can do so many things with!
22. Pens...
23. Good books
24. BYU - I miss that place but I'm grateful for the education that I was able to get even though it was only a short period of time.
25. cameras so we can capture memories!
26. Printers so we don't have to hand write everything!
27. Blankets
28. Socks
29. Shoes
30. alarm clocks that shake the bed....how else would I wake up?!
31. light...electric light, sunshine, moonlight, starlight, the light of Christ, firelight....all types of light!
32. My family and Ben's family....no one will ever know how much I love and appreciate all of them. They are always looking out for us and I hope they know we care for them as well!
33. President Thomas S. Monson, who is a living prophet for us today and all of the Apostles and leaders of the church who watch out for us and give us guidance in today's world.
35. running water...I do not have to go outside and pump a bucket of water...how grateful I am for that!
36. Toilets....we don't have to go out in the freezing cold to use the outhouse like those pioneers of old! I'm so glad!!
37. Soap....I can wash my hands and my hair and my body and keep it clean!
38. Fruits and vegetables!
39. paychecks
40. Temples....they are truly a place of peace and comfort! I love going especially when I'm down and troubled....it helps with focusing on the Savior and having His spirit there to give comfort is a great panacea for anything!
I could go on and on...but I looked at the clock and it is past my bedtime. I feel so much better and I hope everyone gets a chance to read this book. I am not done yet but there are so many great quotes from the prophets. Another thing is that Brother Top uses the story of when Jesus walks on water and Peter tries to walk and sinks. I love that because when I was in high school, I was going through a difficult time...at this time, I drew a picture of my hand reaching out of troubled waters and the Savior's hand was there reaching for mine...that's truly how I felt at that time and I need to find that picture and hang it up somewhere so I can remember that the Savior is always there for us. Even if we are drowning...all we have to do is reach up and take His hand.
I want to testify that I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is true and I know that I have a Father in Heaven who loves us and He gives us trials to shape and strengthen us. No trial is ever wasted....it is our choice to be strengthened or weakened. I know that prayers are answered...even if it is not our will. I know that when you can't do it alone...the Savior's hand is there for you to take. I love you all and I know this is a long blog but I feel so great! I suggest everyone try it!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Life's one big roller coaster ride!
It's been a while since I've last posted. Ben and I have been going through somewhat of a difficult time. There have been a lot of decisions and struggles over the past few weeks. Ben decided to withdraw from all of his classes this semester and retake some classes in the fall. This was a very hard decision for him to make. I told him that I could not help him make this decision because I could not feel anything, I felt numb. I also felt that since I was not the one taking the classes that I did not really have a say into what he felt that was best for him. Ben did not do as well as he would have liked last semester, due to some distractions that he did not realize was taking up his precious time. He feels that he will have a better chance of getting into graduate school if he gets better grades. I fully support him in this decision and know that he will accomplish his goal. Ben is such a wonderful man and I look up to him for having the strength to overcome this obstacle that he is facing right now.
We are so blessed, however, since Wal-Mart had a full-time position open about the time Ben made the decision to withdraw. I know the Lord is watching out for us and that He is aware of our needs. Ben is now working full-time at Wal-Mart and will continue to do so until the end of this year. He would like to find another part-time job but does not think he will be able to find one due to the economy. We are planning on saving money so that when he goes back to school that he will be comfortable to not have to work and focus completely on his classes.
One downside to all this is that we got a letter from ISU on Thursday saying that we had to pay a certain amount back for a loan that Ben took out for this semester since he withdrew. Ben and I were both very upset and did not know how we would be able to come up with the money since we did not have that much in our hands. (A note...ISU told Ben he would not have to pay anything until he graduates...hmm...seems like that was not true...which is why we were not expecting this). Again, the Lord watched out for us and we got quite a sizeable tax return and will be using that. I was disappointed because I wanted to put it in savings and have it there for when we are done with school. However, I feel more blessed than disappointed today. I cannot tell you how hard this has been for both of us but how much we have grown and learned from this on-going experience.
Instead of graduating in May 2010, Ben will be graduating in December of 2010 if all goes as planned. Another blessing comes up with this fact. Some of you may know this but some of you might not. When Eastgate was sold to Walgreens, Walgreens offered a bonus to those who signed a contract saying that they would work for Walgreens for three years. If we did not keep the contract, we had to pay the bonus back with 8% interest. Ben wanted me to sign up, I did not feel good about it but I signed up for it anyway. I got the bonus minus taxes....which did not make me happy but money is just money. As it turns out...the contract ends in December 2010 so we will not have to worry about paying them back. I was worried since Ben was planning to graduate in May 2010 and I did not know how we would be able to pay Walgreens the amount we would have owed if I had to break the contract. So the Lord is truly watching over us! Although it is hard...I can't express how grateful I am for all this... this is not what we wanted but we have been so blessed!
I would like to pay a tribute to my dear husband Ben. He has done so much for me over the past two years and we have been through so much more than anyone would know. I have truly come to love Ben so much more. He has helped me change for the better and I only hope I can do the same for him. He truly makes me whole and I know that we were supposed to get married. I will have to admit that I've struggled with being married for the longest time because I never really knew how to be married. The Lord has known the feelings of our hearts and by all the things that we have gone through...we have become better people and I know that Ben has sacrificed so much for me. He is such a sweet and loving husband. Thank you Ben for interpreting for me in Sacrament Meeting and Sunday School so I can understand and learn about the gospel. Thank you Ben for all those little things you do....I truly do love you!
I know this is a little personal but I have had the strongest feeling that I needed to share this with Ben's family and mine. I love both of our families and I am so truly blessed to have all you people in my life. You all make my life so much sweeter and I couldn't have asked for more!!
This is Ben doing the one thing he loves.....golfing! I hope he can continue to golf and I love to just go walk with him!
We are so blessed, however, since Wal-Mart had a full-time position open about the time Ben made the decision to withdraw. I know the Lord is watching out for us and that He is aware of our needs. Ben is now working full-time at Wal-Mart and will continue to do so until the end of this year. He would like to find another part-time job but does not think he will be able to find one due to the economy. We are planning on saving money so that when he goes back to school that he will be comfortable to not have to work and focus completely on his classes.
One downside to all this is that we got a letter from ISU on Thursday saying that we had to pay a certain amount back for a loan that Ben took out for this semester since he withdrew. Ben and I were both very upset and did not know how we would be able to come up with the money since we did not have that much in our hands. (A note...ISU told Ben he would not have to pay anything until he graduates...hmm...seems like that was not true...which is why we were not expecting this). Again, the Lord watched out for us and we got quite a sizeable tax return and will be using that. I was disappointed because I wanted to put it in savings and have it there for when we are done with school. However, I feel more blessed than disappointed today. I cannot tell you how hard this has been for both of us but how much we have grown and learned from this on-going experience.
Instead of graduating in May 2010, Ben will be graduating in December of 2010 if all goes as planned. Another blessing comes up with this fact. Some of you may know this but some of you might not. When Eastgate was sold to Walgreens, Walgreens offered a bonus to those who signed a contract saying that they would work for Walgreens for three years. If we did not keep the contract, we had to pay the bonus back with 8% interest. Ben wanted me to sign up, I did not feel good about it but I signed up for it anyway. I got the bonus minus taxes....which did not make me happy but money is just money. As it turns out...the contract ends in December 2010 so we will not have to worry about paying them back. I was worried since Ben was planning to graduate in May 2010 and I did not know how we would be able to pay Walgreens the amount we would have owed if I had to break the contract. So the Lord is truly watching over us! Although it is hard...I can't express how grateful I am for all this... this is not what we wanted but we have been so blessed!
I would like to pay a tribute to my dear husband Ben. He has done so much for me over the past two years and we have been through so much more than anyone would know. I have truly come to love Ben so much more. He has helped me change for the better and I only hope I can do the same for him. He truly makes me whole and I know that we were supposed to get married. I will have to admit that I've struggled with being married for the longest time because I never really knew how to be married. The Lord has known the feelings of our hearts and by all the things that we have gone through...we have become better people and I know that Ben has sacrificed so much for me. He is such a sweet and loving husband. Thank you Ben for interpreting for me in Sacrament Meeting and Sunday School so I can understand and learn about the gospel. Thank you Ben for all those little things you do....I truly do love you!
I know this is a little personal but I have had the strongest feeling that I needed to share this with Ben's family and mine. I love both of our families and I am so truly blessed to have all you people in my life. You all make my life so much sweeter and I couldn't have asked for more!!
This is Ben doing the one thing he loves.....golfing! I hope he can continue to golf and I love to just go walk with him!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Pictures....of our anniversary one and one-half months ago
Here is my handsome Ben posing for the camera on our anniversary. He looks so good in his suit! Mom Curtis gave him Travis's old su
its and it is amazing how handsome Ben looks in a suit! I have not seen him in a suit before and I love it!Here is me in my old prom dress from high school. I
was amazed that I still fit in it!! It is my favorite prom dress and I didn't even do my hair and any make up. I wanted to look all beautiful but ah well...Ben said I looked just fine. It was fun nonetheless. We had spinach artichoke dip...which is our favorite appetizer. Thinking of it makes me want some right now!!This is our dinner....hope you can see how yummy it was! :)
The other funny story....
I wrote in the last post that I had another funny story. My sister, Katie asked me what the other funny story was and I could not remember. Now I remember but I know a few of you have already heard this one.
One morning...early morning...I'm sleeping peacefully in my warm comfy bed and dreaming a wonderful dream. All of a sudden, I feel the blanket and the sheets slip off me and I open my eyes to Ben standing with all the blankets piled on him and he is walking out of the bedroom. I was so confused why Ben would do such a thing and so I decide to get up and find out what he is up to. When I walk out in the hall...I see the pile of blankets on the floor. I could not figure out what the pile was, at first I thought it was Ben lying on the floor since I'm blind without my glasses and it was still dark. I go a little down the hall following the trail of blankets and sheets ended up at the door of the bathroom. While I'm looking for Ben's head, Ben pops out of the bathroom scaring me half to death. I asked Ben what he was doing. He did not say a word but tried to push me into the bathroom. I told him I did not need to use the bathroom and left him standing there. I went back to bed and decided I would sleep without the blankets since I was so tired. After a minute, Ben gets back in bed with the blankets...only this time, the sheets were on top and the blanket was on the bottom with the ties poking me. I didn't care how they were on as long as I was warm. The next morning, I asked Ben what in the world he was thinking and why he did all this. Apparently, he remembered doing it but he doesn't know why. I hope this was entertaining for you all as it was for me!!
One morning...early morning...I'm sleeping peacefully in my warm comfy bed and dreaming a wonderful dream. All of a sudden, I feel the blanket and the sheets slip off me and I open my eyes to Ben standing with all the blankets piled on him and he is walking out of the bedroom. I was so confused why Ben would do such a thing and so I decide to get up and find out what he is up to. When I walk out in the hall...I see the pile of blankets on the floor. I could not figure out what the pile was, at first I thought it was Ben lying on the floor since I'm blind without my glasses and it was still dark. I go a little down the hall following the trail of blankets and sheets ended up at the door of the bathroom. While I'm looking for Ben's head, Ben pops out of the bathroom scaring me half to death. I asked Ben what he was doing. He did not say a word but tried to push me into the bathroom. I told him I did not need to use the bathroom and left him standing there. I went back to bed and decided I would sleep without the blankets since I was so tired. After a minute, Ben gets back in bed with the blankets...only this time, the sheets were on top and the blanket was on the bottom with the ties poking me. I didn't care how they were on as long as I was warm. The next morning, I asked Ben what in the world he was thinking and why he did all this. Apparently, he remembered doing it but he doesn't know why. I hope this was entertaining for you all as it was for me!!
Saturday, February 7, 2009
We defintely need a spare key!
I haven't gotten the chance to be on the computer lately. Ben has been such a computer hog and making me use the slow laptop while he plays his all time favorite game World of Warcraft. A word to the wise...any of you who have husbands...don't let them touch that game!! You will instantly become a widow! :)
The past few weeks have been very stressful for me. I don't know about Ben. He seems to be doing all right. I have not been able to talk to him much which makes me sad but I'm trying harder to ask him how his day goes each day. However, I do have a funny story to share...at least I think it is funny.
Ben and I are members of Anytime Fitness. We have not been going for about a month and we decided to start trying to go every day. We tried to start on Tuesday, 2 weeks ago (I think it was). We woke up at about 6:30 and I was still exhausted. Ben pushes me back into bed...I told him I wanted to go work out but he kept insisting I go back to bed (which was good because I'm trying to beat this ole sinus infection). Ben went out to start the car and let it warm up. He came back in the house and did a few things. 10 minutes later, he grabs his shoes, locks the door and heads out. There was still frost on the windows so Ben opens the back door to get the scraper...however, the back door did not open all the way. The car decided that someone was trying to break in and locked all the doors. Poor BEN! He was locked out of his car and apartment with his deaf wife sleeping oblivious to all noise around her! The sad thing was that morning was the coldest morning...I can't remember how cold it was but I know it was way below zero plus the wind was blowing. All this is happening while I'm asleep. Ben knocked on our neighbor's door and asked if he could use her phone book. She let him stay in the apt...(I also felt bad because he felt uncomfortable since her husband wasn't home and I'm sorry to say...their apartment doesn't smell so pleasant as well). Ben called the locksmith and paid 40 dollars to get the keys out of the car. Ben comes in the house and wakes me up. I felt so bad...I wished that I had been awake. Poor guy!!
This is not the end of the story either!! Thursday morning, Ben has to go to clinicals at the hospital at 7. I had to work at 10...but I wanted to be there early since I had to make up time I missed on Monday due to hives...that's another story I do not want to tell. Anyway...I got all ready to go to work and grabbed my lunch. I put my coat on, grabbed my purse, water bottle, and lunch and headed out the door. I locked the door and shut it. The minute I shut the door...I realized that I left the keys inside!! I was at loss....then I thought it was funny! I didn't know why but it sure was funny because it happened to Ben the other way around. Now it happened to me! I sat down on the stairs wondering what to do and how to get to work. I didn't want to walk even though it is only 1/2 mile away because it was cold. I texted everyone I could think of. I texted the ladies at work and my friend who lives close by. No one answered me...I was starting to think this wasn't funny anymore. However, one of the ladies at work responded and said that she could pick me up while at the same time my friend who lives practically next door said she could take me. So I had to hurry and text the other lady and tell her not to come get me. I ended up being to work at 10 which was a relief! I was on time but I had to stay later...oh well! I learned that I need to be patient and Heavenly Father will help me. I am so blessed to be able to text people! The wonders of technology!
Some of you may know...Ben and I have a history of locking ourselves out. Ben especially when I'm asleep. This wasn't the first time for him to lock himself out. I always tell him that's what he gets for marrying a deaf woman! We have decided that we are getting a spare key and trading spare keys with our downstairs neighbors. They are the only neighbors we trust in this part of the apartments. We are glad to have such great neighbors as them!
Well...I better go get ready for bed or I will be in trouble with Ben when he gets home and finds that I am not all ready for bed like he hopes I will. I do have another funny story that I wish to share but that will have to wait for next time and I still need to post pictures! Again....computer time is restricted for this woman! I am so glad to read all your blogs and love to know what is going on in your lives.
The past few weeks have been very stressful for me. I don't know about Ben. He seems to be doing all right. I have not been able to talk to him much which makes me sad but I'm trying harder to ask him how his day goes each day. However, I do have a funny story to share...at least I think it is funny.
Ben and I are members of Anytime Fitness. We have not been going for about a month and we decided to start trying to go every day. We tried to start on Tuesday, 2 weeks ago (I think it was). We woke up at about 6:30 and I was still exhausted. Ben pushes me back into bed...I told him I wanted to go work out but he kept insisting I go back to bed (which was good because I'm trying to beat this ole sinus infection). Ben went out to start the car and let it warm up. He came back in the house and did a few things. 10 minutes later, he grabs his shoes, locks the door and heads out. There was still frost on the windows so Ben opens the back door to get the scraper...however, the back door did not open all the way. The car decided that someone was trying to break in and locked all the doors. Poor BEN! He was locked out of his car and apartment with his deaf wife sleeping oblivious to all noise around her! The sad thing was that morning was the coldest morning...I can't remember how cold it was but I know it was way below zero plus the wind was blowing. All this is happening while I'm asleep. Ben knocked on our neighbor's door and asked if he could use her phone book. She let him stay in the apt...(I also felt bad because he felt uncomfortable since her husband wasn't home and I'm sorry to say...their apartment doesn't smell so pleasant as well). Ben called the locksmith and paid 40 dollars to get the keys out of the car. Ben comes in the house and wakes me up. I felt so bad...I wished that I had been awake. Poor guy!!
This is not the end of the story either!! Thursday morning, Ben has to go to clinicals at the hospital at 7. I had to work at 10...but I wanted to be there early since I had to make up time I missed on Monday due to hives...that's another story I do not want to tell. Anyway...I got all ready to go to work and grabbed my lunch. I put my coat on, grabbed my purse, water bottle, and lunch and headed out the door. I locked the door and shut it. The minute I shut the door...I realized that I left the keys inside!! I was at loss....then I thought it was funny! I didn't know why but it sure was funny because it happened to Ben the other way around. Now it happened to me! I sat down on the stairs wondering what to do and how to get to work. I didn't want to walk even though it is only 1/2 mile away because it was cold. I texted everyone I could think of. I texted the ladies at work and my friend who lives close by. No one answered me...I was starting to think this wasn't funny anymore. However, one of the ladies at work responded and said that she could pick me up while at the same time my friend who lives practically next door said she could take me. So I had to hurry and text the other lady and tell her not to come get me. I ended up being to work at 10 which was a relief! I was on time but I had to stay later...oh well! I learned that I need to be patient and Heavenly Father will help me. I am so blessed to be able to text people! The wonders of technology!
Some of you may know...Ben and I have a history of locking ourselves out. Ben especially when I'm asleep. This wasn't the first time for him to lock himself out. I always tell him that's what he gets for marrying a deaf woman! We have decided that we are getting a spare key and trading spare keys with our downstairs neighbors. They are the only neighbors we trust in this part of the apartments. We are glad to have such great neighbors as them!
Well...I better go get ready for bed or I will be in trouble with Ben when he gets home and finds that I am not all ready for bed like he hopes I will. I do have another funny story that I wish to share but that will have to wait for next time and I still need to post pictures! Again....computer time is restricted for this woman! I am so glad to read all your blogs and love to know what is going on in your lives.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Problem solved!!
I thought I would give the update. I went to the doctor last week on Wednesday. He said I probably never got over my sinus infection and bronchitis. So...he gave me antibiotics and some cough syrup. I had not been sleeping very well since I was coughing so hard during the night. Wednesday night I took some and I was able to finally get a good night's rest. I felt so great the next day! It feels wonderful to be on the road to recovery and not be so tired all the time!
I am planning to work on posting some pictures tonight so hopefully I can figure this out! Thanks for all the sweet comments...I really do have wonderful family and friends!!
I am planning to work on posting some pictures tonight so hopefully I can figure this out! Thanks for all the sweet comments...I really do have wonderful family and friends!!
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